LONELINESS IS NOT DEPRIVATION.....OR IS IT?

well, this is something purely out of experience and do help me understand it further. a series of recent events that have occurred in my life over a span of 3 years has made me think whether i can ever fall in love with someone or not. i'm not trying to put it in a negative way. i mean even i feel desperate sometimes to have a boyfriend like every other straight gal but when a reasonably gud guy comes along and dares to show interest in me, i just shoo him away! and i dont even feel sorry that i lost a gud chance at having a relationship, it just makes me feel.....relieved. i don't know why but i don't regret being alone, without someone special in my life. i feel extremely "FREE". i get this feeling that if i get into a relationship, i'm bound by certain rules that i have to follow, like i ought to spend most of my time with him, answer his phonecalls on a single ring, etc. am i depriving myself from something realy important? is it this hard for everyone? is it really supposed to feel this way? does every1 get cold feet like me? i dont know, last time i checked, this was what couples who were about to get married were complaining about. or is it the fear of commitment...OMG!! I'M CHANDLER????????????